Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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