Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
