mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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