I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
