To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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