Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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