Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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