So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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