ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
