I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
