I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
