Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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