There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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