It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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