somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If that was your dad, he is hot
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
