You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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