How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
