Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
