I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize