Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
