People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize