I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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