remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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