I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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