The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he wants to bone in the snuggie
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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