Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
