i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
