ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Randomize
