my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
