haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
