Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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