capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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