I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
