she was so not down for the gang bang
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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