it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
and you fell through a lawn chair
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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