Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
