so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
