Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
