as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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