He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
