I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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