Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
