he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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