Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
