So drunk, too bad you don't want this
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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