Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
