Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
