Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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