We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
