Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
