I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
