Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
