If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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