He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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