six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
