ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
