Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
