:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize