I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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