Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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