Where is the hickey?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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