About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
