Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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