It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
